Thursday, October 8, 2009

Abused Wife

In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I'd like to focus on domestic violence issues this month.

Abused Wife

by Tanya T. Warrington

I wasn't afraid,
He couldn't make me cry,
I'd never let him make me cry;
I was a survivor.

I didn't feel fear,
I felt okay and fine,
Other feelings were gone
Or strangely muted.

I was dead really,
Numb and removed,
Hiding myself from the trauma,
Forgetting whatever I could.

A brittle branch
Weighed down by heavy snow
Bending, always bending,
Waiting for the day I'd snap.

Little did I know that the snap
would not be the end of me,
but rather a tough re-birth
that would free me from Fear's grip

I was terrified it turns out;
believing his evil threats,
and cowed by his displays of violence,
until I separated myself and the children.
I just didn't know it with my mind,
But with distance could see my lifestyle of fearfulness--
Fear had been my master for fourteen long years.
All my tiptoeing over invisible shattered glass,
Trying to please him above all else,
Doing almost anything to try to advert his "anger problem"
Had been a sign of my bondage to cruel Fear.

I want to shout from the rooftops now,
To all who still serve Fear as they try to appease
An irrate partner who will not be pleased
No matter what they do to serve.
This lifestyle isn't marriage--it is bondage;
it isn't the way its supposed to be.
No one is perfect; it is true.
But there are many who would never, not once,
Threaten to harm you or intentionally wound you.
Most spouses want to love and be loved
with someone they cherish and adore;
Not someone they set out to dismantle and degrade.

Love has four letters but it is freeing, not condemning;
It builds up both partners over time,
amazing each with the growth they see
in themselves and in their beloved.


Victoria Hart said...

Free is a four letter word also. Bless you for your courage, for your voice, and blessings to you and your family.

Tanya T. Warrington said...

You are so right, Victoria! Free is a four letter word as well. Love and Free are such beautiful words to focus on, so much better than Fear.

Thank you for the blessing! I also ask the Lord to bless you and your family.

Recommended Books

  • 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing
  • A Way of Hope by Leslie J. Barner
  • Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Paul Hegstrom
  • Battered But Not Broken by Patricia Riddle Gaddis
  • Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
  • Bradshaw on the Family by John Bradshaw
  • Caring Enough to Forgive/Not Forgive by David Augsburger
  • Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
  • Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allendar
  • Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for the Abused Woman by Marie M. Fortune
  • Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.
  • Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden
  • Safe People by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
  • Slay Your Own Dragons by Nancy Good
  • The Cinderella Syndrome by Lee Ezell
  • The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.
  • The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee
  • Turning Fear to Hope by Holly Wagner Green
  • When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse by Tim Jackson and Jeff Olson
  • Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft