Wednesday, September 30, 2009

This Little Light of Mine

"Shine brightly with the light of Christ Jesus, be all that I created you to be" says the voice of God, but another voice urges me to distrust, to hide, to be frightened, to be shy--to do everything opposite of letting my light shine fully. It is a battleground. A war between good and evil.

I suppose I am the princess of this fairy tale. I have been helpless and trapped, praying for rescue. I have met my hero, my Savior. I have been carried away from the dungeon of abuse and live freely now. And yet, I still am on a journey, looking forward to Heaven in the future but walking onward in the here and now.

I want to shine brightly. When I succeed in shining in and for the Lord, it feels wonderful and right. I feel more myself than ever before and it seems so attainable to continue there forever. Alive and vibrant, using the gifts God has given me.

But then there are the other times. Times when old habits of self-protection loom up and block my light for awhile. Times when I hide by isolating, times when I blame myself or others without mercy, and times when I try not to be noticed. When I examine those times, I see chains and ropes going back to the past, to abuse. It is unpleasant and hurts.

I don't want to live in darkness, so once again, I choose the Light. I will walk with my Lord no matter what I remember or feel. I will trust Him who has always been my comforter and my strength.

I have experienced so much healing in so many areas, but the process is not complete yet. I wonder if it ever will be completed.

Can you relate, Reader? Do you have a battleground between good and evil inside you. Does the abuse of the past still have a way of showing up in your behavior? Do not grow weary! We are overcomers every time we choose good and say no to the bad. We shine even when we don't realize it.

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine,

This little light of mine,

I'm gonna let it shine,

Let it shine,
Let it shine,
Let it shine

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