Long Awaited

Tears well up
deep under
the surface of me,
invisible.

They swell
but I stare at
something, anything--
killing.

No tears allowed!
Big girls don't
cry over secret hurts
suppressed.

Abuse happened,
but must be buried
to protect well
the abuser.

Let go tired body,
release the old pain
acknowledge losses,
cry.

Cry healing tears;
it's right and healing,
so it's really more than
okay.

No one will be hurt;
the former terrorizing threats
will fall to the ground,
harmless.

Let tears, long needed,
water my shriveled hopes
and cleanse shame away,
renewing.