Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Home is
supposed to be loving,
with wise counsel,
gentle hands and good correction,
accepting laughter,
and understanding.

We know it,
in our core,
from birth it seems--
so babies die from
emotional neglect,
toddlers become withdrawn,
preschoolers hide,
adolescents aim to please,
teens shut down or rebel,
and adults walk around numb.

What do we do if our family
was harsh and unsafe
a place of secrets and threats
of punishment about wrath
of boundaries squashed
and of rights nonexistent?
What do we do with our memories of
a cold place in which we survived,
clinging as best we could
to life, while dying inside?

There is no easy answer
no pain-free solution
We must remember and grieve
the should ofs that weren't
the losses that we suffered
the pain that we carried.
We can heal, step by difficult step,
growing along the way,
re-learning how
to live,
to feel joy and to laugh freely,
with no fear entangling our feet!
Free to make mistakes--without
being crushed by shame
or to try new things without
his or her voice dragging us down.

It's not the easy road,
but it leads to riches for our spirit
It leads to making a new home,
planted in love and sustained by
God's grace,
mutual acceptance,
gentleness and kindness,
tenderness and forgiveness,
consistency and flexibility;
a new home,
that grows toward
what home should be, and can be today,
step by step.

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