Monday, June 16, 2008

Boundaries (Part 3)

How do we know if we are succeeding in implementing boundaries? My biggest clue is that I feel uncomfortable and almost mean when I work to clarify a boundary that someone continually tries to step on or over. But when I re-examine my words and actions, I find I didn't do or say anything mean.

It feels uncomfortable because I am not giving in to the other's demands anywhere near as much as I did when I was younger.
It feels almost mean because now I can do something for myself instead of focusing exclusively on the other's desires.
It feels strange to say "no" because I still need to say it more frequently.

I tend to feel fine while I say my honest answer, but then old tapes quip the guilt messages. But that's okay, the tapes are wearing out, the messages aren't so loud and clear anymore. I know I like boundaries and that they are good.

May God bless each of us on our journey of learning to use the word "no" appropriately. May he equip us to make our boundaries functional.

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