Tuesday, December 8, 2009

What Can We Do?

We all agree that domestic violence is wrong. It is a tragedy that effects way too many homes. But what can any one of us do about it?

I think we can do more than we might guess. Those of us who have been there are positioned better than anyone else to offer understanding and encouragement to women and men who are still trapped in homes that are ongoing nightmares of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. Acknowledging our own past abuse story is painful, but it may be just what another needs to hear.

Here is a list of ideas on how any one of us might be able to make a difference:
--Call 9-1-1 if we hear a domestic violence situation at a neighbor's home
--Invite another out for a cup of coffee or a lunch, if they have indicated that they are having marital problems. Listen. Share honestly from your own experiences.
--Encourage your pastor to address domestic violence in a sermon.
--Share your testimony of your past and how God helped you--it is a story that glorifies God and may help another to seek help.
--Donate money &/or time at a domestic violence shelter.
--Post a shelter magnet on your refrigerator.
--Keep shelter information in your wallet so that you can pass it on when an opportunity presents itself
--Pray for those who are feeling fear in their own home.
--Pray for children who are witnessing abuse or being abused themselves.
--Hold a fund raising project for your local shelter.
--Speak up when you hear someone verbally bashing another.
--Write a letter to your editor when there is a news story about another victim of spousal homicide.
--Ask direct questions when another hints about abuse.
--Teach your children how to live Jesus' way.
--Don't allow sexist jokes in your home.
--Teach your children to respect other people's boundaries.
--Never pass up a chance to pray for someone who is hurting.
--Join a national abuse prevention organization.
--Respond with warmth and sensitivity any time someone shares about abuse.
--Pray asking God to use you however He wants to, and see what happens.

Loving lives lived authentically and transparently make a mighty difference in this world. Jesus said that we are shining lights. So let's do some shining, right where we are.


Jan Parrish said...

Great, positive ways to reduce domestic violence!

Tanya T. Warrington said...

Every bit counts! God sees it all and cares deeply about victims.

Donna Volkenannt said...

Hi Tayna,
I have never been a victim of abuse, but I know others who have. It's always a tragic and senseless situation.

Thanks for giving a voice to victims of abuse by posting your positive ways to reduce domestic violence.

Jean Ann Williams said...

Great that you are so honest and open so that it may help others, Tanya.

If you ever want to read my blog on another type of victim abuse (it feels that way to me, anyway), visit it at http://joshua-mom.blogspot.com.

I am a survivor of my son's suicide.

Take care and keep up the great work.

Jean Ann Williams

Tanya T. Warrington said...

You've blessed my day with your comments.

You are right, it is always a "tragic and senseless situation." It is also sinful. Instead of demonstrating love, the abuser demonstrates their control over another human being. Tragic indeed!

Tanya T. Warrington said...

Jean Ann,

I just visited your site. I am impressed with your writing and your transparency. Your site will be a blessing to those who are slogging through the grief process of losing a loved one because of suicide.

You are a courageous woman, Jean Ann. Keep on writing. Your ministry is important.

Recommended Books

  • 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing
  • A Way of Hope by Leslie J. Barner
  • Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Paul Hegstrom
  • Battered But Not Broken by Patricia Riddle Gaddis
  • Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
  • Bradshaw on the Family by John Bradshaw
  • Caring Enough to Forgive/Not Forgive by David Augsburger
  • Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
  • Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allendar
  • Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for the Abused Woman by Marie M. Fortune
  • Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.
  • Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden
  • Safe People by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
  • Slay Your Own Dragons by Nancy Good
  • The Cinderella Syndrome by Lee Ezell
  • The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.
  • The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee
  • Turning Fear to Hope by Holly Wagner Green
  • When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse by Tim Jackson and Jeff Olson
  • Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft