Saturday, March 22, 2008

Waiting on God

The day after Good Friday and the day before Easter/Resurrection Sunday is a time of waiting. For Jesus Christ's disciples it was a time of fear, disillusionment, and anxiety. Waiting to see if they too would be arrested. Waiting to see what God would do.

A healing process requires waiting too. Emotional healing does not happen in a day. We may intellectually accept an important truth in one day--such as recognizing that a small child is powerless to protect herself or himself from incest, physical abuse, or verbal abuse. But the heart may take years to finally believe in this truth enough to stop the cycle of shame and blame.

I remember one evening years ago when I sat alone in my living room late at night, praying for healing. That night for the first time, I allowed myself to grieve that I did not have a "daddy" growing up. I had a father, but not a daddy. I had a man that I feared for good reason, a man that I tried very hard to please. But I had no childhood memory of feeling like "daddy's little girl" or "daddy's princess."

God reached out to be in a very concrete way that night. His presence was so powerful that I literally felt his arms around me, comforting me. His wonderful gift helped me through that night...but the healing for that issue had just begun. I had to wait and walk in trust for six more years before my soul was healed enough for me to believe, without any more reservations, that God is and was my daddy and that He found me pleasing. I'm glad that I did not know ahead of time that it would take six years.

When you feel impatient waiting for healing, remember that it is a process and that God is an expert on your healing needs. He knows when to do what to nurture our souls. His timing may not be our preferred timing, but His timing is loving and righteous.

The disciples were waiting for something wonderful (the resurrected Christ), but anxiety kept them from remembering Jesus' promise to rise on the third day. They only knew that they felt unsafe and uncomfortable. Some days our healing process is the same. It is frightening to face horrible memories--it feels unsafe. And other days we feel totally stressed out wondering if we will ever feel comfortable doing x, or if we'll ever stop doing y.

When you are anxiously awaiting the next bit of healing, remember that our Good Shepherd has it under control. He will lead you to those still waters and green grasses (Psalm 23).

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