Lies I Believed (Part 1): Anger is always Bad
Is Anger Sinful?"<title/>
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How many of our subconscious beliefs line up with the Bible and how many are only half truths that have percolated through the manure of our abuse experiences? During the recovery process, I have discover angered I believed things that didn't really line up with the Bible. Abuse is not an honest teacher and yet, it is a strong teacher. It takes prayer and patience to overcome the old ideas. This is the first in a series of posts that will explore false beliefs that plagued me and others who have been abused.<br />
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I didn't have a healthy view of anger. All anger was wrong because I associated anger with abuse. Angry people raped, tore others apart emotionally, told lies, said mean things, etc. I jumped from that belief to believing that a good Christian should never, ever get angry. I thought that's what turning the other cheek was all about.<br />
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My ideas made sense to me. They fit my environment. They seemed logical. But they were lies that limited me and served abusers. I couldn't express anger. Abusers are very okay with that. I stuffed my anger and years later discovered that all of my other feelings had become hostages of the denial as well. <br />
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When I began reading the Bible as a child, I was confused by the verses that showed that God gets angry--but, he is God of the universe so I trusted that his anger was always right and never abusive (truth) and that he was the only one who was capable of righteous anger (a lie).<br />
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I noticed that humans in the Biblical accounts got angry too. And sometimes it seemed okay and sometimes it didn't seem okay at all (such as with Moses' anger in Exodus 32 versus his anger in Numbers 20:1-13). What was the difference? My original ideas slowly began to crumble. Maybe there were times and ways that people could be angry in a righteous manner--but it was easy, way too easy to lose control and sin in anger. My new belief accepted that anger isn't always sinful (true), but held firmly to the belief that humans almost always lose control of anger and harm others and themselves. So I reasoned that good Christians should always avoid outward expressions of anger (a lie) and should always confess any internal feelings of anger to God as sinful acts (a lie). Somewhere along the line, I'd read the Bible enough times to see that righteous anger involves being angry at the things that anger God. So feeling anger at Satan's deceitfulness is acceptable (truth).<br />
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I also began recognizing more how angry I became with myself whenever I fell into sin, or performed imperfectly or made stupid mistakes. I was frequently unkind to myself in my inner dialogue. God's spirit gently convicted methat much of my angry self-talk was self-abusive...a continuation of the negatives about myself that I absorbed from my abusers. I believed I was incompetent. I believed I was a failure because I was imperfect. I believed I wasn't worth protecting or taking care of. I believed I was never going to be good enough. (All these beliefs were opposite of God's messages to us in the Bible. He hates sin but he loves us. He doesn't expect perfection. He didn't make a huge mistake in creating me. He didn't want me to hate myself). <br />
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During my young adult years, I continued to repress any anger toward others. I thought I just didn't do anger. I didn't feel anger over the abuse--just disappointment and resignation. I didn't feel anger when my boundaries were violated, I felt tired instead. I didn't feel anger when someone was cruel to me, I felt worry for the other and self-doubt toward myself. I didn't identify or acknowledge my anger, but sometimes I acted angry anyway.<br />
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In those same years, I discovered that I could, and did, become angry for the benefit of others. I felt angry when children were abused. I felt angry when I learned that a neighbor was being abused by her husband. I was fearless about banging on apartment doors or calling the police when I heard a man abusing his wife. I called the police without hesitation, when I witnessed a man attacking his girlfriend in a parking lot.<br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>It wasn't until I reached middle-aged that I was finally able to get in touch with the anger over abuse done to me. I didn't like being treated that way. I didn't want anyone else to violate me again. I wasn't "okay with" any type of abuse. Today, I don't choose to be in friendship with people who are comfortable abusing others. I choose nice people to be friends with. Today, I am more patient and understanding in my self-talk--even when I sin or make mistakes. Today, I can acknowledge my anger to myself and then give myself respect as I decide how I want to express or not express my anger to others. Anger is now one of many feelings I experience. Anger isn't bad; it's a signal that invites me to take note of myself, another person's behavior, and my boundaries. <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Related posts</span>:<br />
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<a href="http://dazzlingwings.blogspot.com/2009/09/anger.html">Anger</a><br />
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<a href="http://dazzlingwings.blogspot.com/2009/10/who-are-you-blaming.html">Who are You Blaming</a><br />
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<a href="http://dazzlingwings.blogspot.com/2009/04/anger.html">Anger?</a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Tweetables</span>:<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lies an Abuse Victim Told Herself about Anger <a href="http://clicktotweet.com/xO8y5">Click to Tweet</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Are Christians Allowed to Get Angry? <a href="http://clicktotweet.com/bXf4k">Click to Tweet</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Abuse Breeds Un-Biblical Beliefs about Anger <a href="http://clicktotweet.com/e70A9">Click to Tweet</a></span><br />
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<h2>Recommended Books</h2>
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<li>10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing</li>
<li>A Way of Hope by Leslie J. Barner</li>
<li>Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Paul Hegstrom</li>
<li>Battered But Not Broken by Patricia Riddle Gaddis</li>
<li>Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend</li>
<li>Bradshaw on the Family by John Bradshaw</li>
<li>Caring Enough to Forgive/Not Forgive by David Augsburger</li>
<li>Codependent No More by Melody Beattie</li>
<li>Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allendar</li>
<li>Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for the Abused Woman by Marie M. Fortune</li>
<li>Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.</li>
<li>Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden</li>
<li>Safe People by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend</li>
<li>Slay Your Own Dragons by Nancy Good</li>
<li>The Cinderella Syndrome by Lee Ezell</li>
<li>The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.</li>
<li>The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee</li>
<li>Turning Fear to Hope by Holly Wagner Green</li>
<li>When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse by Tim Jackson and Jeff Olson</li>
<li>Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft</li>
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If you live with your abuser, be aware that he/she can trace your internet activity on your home computer. It would be safest to use a public library computer or a friend's computer.<br/><br/>When you leave comments on this site you can remain anonymous or use a new screen name.<br/>
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<h2 class='title'>Welcome</h2>
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Being abused by another hurts deeply and creates many challenges. But you don't have to settle for merely being a survivor. You can become an overcomer with dazzling wings.<br/><br/>You might feel worthless--but you are not. You are valuable to the creator of the universe. A new life of freedom, peace, and joy awaits. Facing abuse, ending it, and healing from it is a huge journey that leaves behind hopelessness, embracing new life.<br/><br/>Just like myself and other abuse survivors, you can unfurl dazzling wings with the help of Jesus Christ.<br/><br/>This journey is possible. I've done it and so have other formerly abused women and men who have shared their stories with me. Come join us on a life-giving journey of change.<br/><br/><br/>
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<h2>Helpful Resources</h2>
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<li><a href='http://www.focusministries1.org/'>Focus Ministries</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.ndvh.org/'>National Domestic Violence Hotline</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.peaceandsafety.com/'>Peace And Safety in the Christian Home</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.projectsafegirls.com/'>Project Safe Girls</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.rainn.org/'>Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.thesilverbraid.org/'>The Silver Braid</a></li>
<li><a href='http://timesupblog.blogspot.com/'>Times Up!</a></li>
<li><a href='http://witnessjustice.org/'>Witness Justice: Help and Healing for Victims of Violence</a></li>
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<a class='profile-name-link g-profile' href='https://www.blogger.com/profile/00838074093892841482' rel='author' style='background-image: url(//www.blogger.com/img/logo-16.png);'>
Tanya T. Warrington
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<dd class='profile-data'>Masonville, CO, United States</dd>
<dd class='profile-textblock'>For thirty-five years, I felt worthless. It seemed like I wore a sign across my chest inviting others to abuse me.
Unfortunately, I had an abundance of personal experience with being a victim of domestic violence, incest, emotional abuse, physical abuse, date rape, verbal abuse, and spiritual abuse. And then I experienced being the mother and stepmother of children who were assaulted by a pedophile.I felt like a cursed woman.
Since multiple people felt comfortable assualting me and then my children I assumed that there was something wrong with me. I had let me myself down in some unknown, mysterious way.
What if God let me down, too?
One day, in desperation, I prayed asking God to end the abuse.
God heard. He rescued me. He continues to heal me. His kindness, grace, and mercy far exceed anything I could’ve imagined or hoped for.
He has given me dazzling wings to soar above the pain of past abuse, spreading His message of hope: God does not approve of violence in any of its manifestations. He rescues those who cry out to Him. He heals the wounded.</dd>
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I share my thoughts and feelings on this blog about a very sensitive and personal topic, but I need to remind readers that I am not a licensed counselor or a legal advisor. Please weigh everything I say with prayer. Feel empowered to take what you want and leave the rest.<br/><br/><br/>
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