Healthy people
Take responsibility for their needs;
Abusers
Feel everyone else should take care of their needs
Healthy people
Forgive others and themselves when mistakes are made
Abusers
Require perfection and specialize in blaming and punishing
Healthy people
Listen to criticism and evaluate it
Abusers
Assume that they are the only ones entitled to give criticism
Healthy people
try to understand others
Abusers
tell others how they should be
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Healthy people
use self-control
Abusers
lack impulse control
Healthy people
try to resolve disagreements in a win-win way
Abusers
set out to demolish whoever disagrees with them in a you-lose way
Healthy people
care about the welfare of others
Abusers
ignore the welfare of others
Healthy people
give love without strings
Abusers
always have conditions
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