Growing up in an abusive home, prevents the formation of healthy boundaries. Abusers often don't recognize boundaries. When they do see boundaries, they intentionally bulldoze right through, ignoring the limits others have set.
Learning how to set healthy boundaries for ourselves is a huge step in the healing process. At first boundaries feel awkward. It requires practice and patience, but the benefits were well worth all the effort.
Boundaries are limits we set to define who we are and what we will allow in our relationships with others. According to Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend in their excellent book, Boundaries, "We need to keep things that will nurture us inside our fences and keep things that will harm us outside." So the first step is to identify the behaviors and people that nurture us.
What nurtures you? What helps you to be your best? What helps you to grow?
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Recommended Books
- 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing
- A Way of Hope by Leslie J. Barner
- Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Paul Hegstrom
- Battered But Not Broken by Patricia Riddle Gaddis
- Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
- Bradshaw on the Family by John Bradshaw
- Caring Enough to Forgive/Not Forgive by David Augsburger
- Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
- Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allendar
- Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for the Abused Woman by Marie M. Fortune
- Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.
- Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden
- Safe People by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
- Slay Your Own Dragons by Nancy Good
- The Cinderella Syndrome by Lee Ezell
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.
- The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee
- Turning Fear to Hope by Holly Wagner Green
- When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse by Tim Jackson and Jeff Olson
- Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
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