Photo by mh cheraghi
It is a continual challenge to rewrite the "tapes" that play in my head. First, I have to be self-aware enough to catch what I am saying to myself and what automatic assumptions I am making. If I can "hear" myself, I can make new choices, initiate a do-over, and say something more encouraging and accurate.
I realized I was too tired this morning to participate in a neighborhood garage sale. So, I didn't load up my stuff to take to a neighbor's driveway and then sit outside in the cold for four hours. Instead, I went to the sale with some money and bought some items from my neighbors. I was out in the cold air for a much shorter time than I would have been otherwise. It was the right move for my body, which is still recovering from a nasty head cold.
The interesting thing is that I assumed I was going to be "in trouble" somehow. After all, I hadn't done what I said I would do. I had "failed," according to the tape inside me that pushed me to be "perfect." I am combating that voice today. I didn't fail. I took another positive step in responding to my needs in a positive, nurturing way. For years, my needs were a problem that had to be ignored. But I am no longer in a dysfunctional environment. I can choose now, and I do, to practice being kind to myself and addressing my needs respectfully.
How about you, dear Reader? Did you have an opportunity recently to practice a new tape to replace one of your old dysfunctional tapes? Or do you have a tape you'd like to try changing? If any of your tapes include words such as lazy, stupid, selfish, needy, ugly, a failure, or not good enough, I urge you to talk to someone trustworthy about it and try replacing the old message (that is a lie anyway) with something that you'd say to a friend. None of us need to stay stuck in the mindset we were loaded down with as victims of abuse. Today is a new day, and we can live healthier lives by practicing a gentler voice with ourselves.
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