Being kind to oneself is challenging when you are in the process of healing from former abuse. It is easy to neglect your needs and be harsh with yourself.
Do you recognize this struggle in yourself? I sure do. I see myself denying myself the grace I give to others. I see myself neglecting my physical needs.
I don't have any quick fix. But I do have encouragement. As we focus on God, he heals our understanding of ourselves and helps us to recover the ability to love ourselves and others.
God is helping me to stop and ask myself new questions. If my child were feeling the way I do at the moment what would I say? do? think? Can I give myself the same loving attention I easily give to my child? What would happen if I were kind to myself in this situation?
Each time I succeed in catching myself in the old behavior and succeed in doing something kind for myself is a sweet victory!
Being unkind to ourselves perpetuates the abuser's work. Each time we risk trying new and kinder behavior we are participating in redeeming the former abuse damage. We can overcome and claim a much better life for ourselves!
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Recommended Books
- 10 Lifesaving Principles for Women in Difficult Marriages by Karla Downing
- A Way of Hope by Leslie J. Barner
- Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Paul Hegstrom
- Battered But Not Broken by Patricia Riddle Gaddis
- Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
- Bradshaw on the Family by John Bradshaw
- Caring Enough to Forgive/Not Forgive by David Augsburger
- Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
- Healing the Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan B. Allendar
- Keeping the Faith: Questions and Answers for the Abused Woman by Marie M. Fortune
- Perfect Daughters by Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D.
- Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L. Gravitz and Julie D. Bowden
- Safe People by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
- Slay Your Own Dragons by Nancy Good
- The Cinderella Syndrome by Lee Ezell
- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.
- The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee
- Turning Fear to Hope by Holly Wagner Green
- When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spouse Abuse by Tim Jackson and Jeff Olson
- Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
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