Be Kind to Yourself

This past week I have been reminded of the importance of taking care of yourself. Looking at painful memories takes energy and courage. It is stressful work. The results are worthwhile but the process takes effort.

When I am helping someone else with their recovery process, I urge them to be gentle with themselves. We all need that reminder.

Abuse conditions us to being stressed as a chronic condition. Abusers urge us to take care of them to excess, and to discount and ignore our own needs. We are well-trained to consider any self-care as "selfish."

Nurturing ourselves is not selfish however--it is essential to healing and it is foundational to modeling a healthier way for our children (or others who may be impacted).

So how do we go about it? How do we treat ourselves with love and respect?

I am still in a state of figuring this out. Here are a few things that have worked for me thus far:

• Reminding myself that if I want my children to be healthy in their self-care, the most effective way to have a positive impact is to let them see me taking care of myself. When my child sees me resting after I acknowledge that I am tired, then my child learns that it is okay to rest when you are tired.
• Asking myself what I would want my friend to do for herself/himself in a similar situation, and then doing it for myself.
• Exercising regularly to keep my emotions more stable and positive.
• Journaling frequently to stay in touch with myself.
• Telling myself the same positive thoughts that I tell others. Reassuring myself that I am involved in a process that takes time.
• Watching for opportunities to acknowledge to myself what I am doing well.
• Praying to ask God to teach me to take better care of myself. Taking care of myself is a way to be a good steward and to increase my usefulness in service to God.
• Sitting outdoors and/or putting flowers in a vase to remind me of the beauty God has created. Remembering the beauty energizes me to care more what I do with His temple.

If you have some ideas on how to be kind and nurturing with yourself, I'd love to hear from you via a post or email.