Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko
I now believe that I wasn't understanding Matthew 5:38-39. "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth,' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also." Context means everything when we work to understand scripture. Chapter 5 is about understanding relationships properly. Jesus defines that the Kingdom of Heaven is for the pure of heart, the humble, the peacemakers, etc. It is not a kingdom like earthly kingdoms. His kingdom isn't about proving might with brutality, exerting selfishness with control, or being prideful about our supposed sinlessness. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. So, God wants us to live with humble, honest, and merciful hearts. We are not to judge murderers while we ignore how we have murdered someone's reputation out of our unruled anger. He doesn't want us passing unmerciful judgment on another for adultery while at the same time denying or ignoring our own lustful thoughts or behavior. God wants divorce filing to be about serious sinful issues, not about frivolous, sinful, or prideful reasons. God wants to say what is true and not make false vows, promises, or testimonies. He wants us to be people who say yes when we mean yes and no when we mean no. His kingdom isn't a place of false answers, misleading answers, or lying. His kingdom is for humble people who tell the truth even when it may hurt another's feelings or might result in trouble for us.
And then, we reach our verses of interest, v. 38-39. The Kingdom of Heaven is not about pridefully or fearfully pursuing vengeance. We are to humbly remember that God is the only one who can righteously judge without any errors and that he is the one who punishes unrepented sin. He is the one who will judge who has lived righteously and who has not. Even when we know another is guilty of sin, it is not ours to deliver their judgment or sentence. Our job is to turn to God with our pain and ask for His help and His righteous judgment to be fulfilled in His time. When someone slapped a face, it was an insult or a challenge to fight. We don't have to pay back when someone sins against us. We don't have to fight to defend our honor. God will handle it. Our job is to remain humble. We aim to be God's faithful servant and to trust him to deal with wrongdoing.
Then what do we do if we are living in an abusive home or dating an abusive person? To prove we are Christ-followers, must we passively take it all and do nothing to protect ourselves and our children? Some believe this and may shame us by telling us being an abuse victim is our cross to bear. But I think turning the other cheek means we don't attack because we've been attacked. We don't leap into committing sins because we have been sinned against. We prayerfully share our situation with God and look to him to lead us to holy responses. Leaving a room isn't attacking another, seeking counseling help isn't harming others, going to a domestic violence center isn't violent, and leaving a relationship with an abuser isn't malicious. We can get a restraining order. We can get support from others to help us begin abuse-free lives. We can take actions that matter without perpetrating vengefulness.
And if we are healing from abuse, we can intentionally develop discernment concerning the character of another, we can not engage with those who are violent, and we can prudently pay attention to danger signals that others display and steer clear. We can walk with God and stand firm in knowing what is healthy versus dysfunctional, harmful behavior. We can let insults drop to the ground unanswered. We can pursue healing and leave the abuser in God's hands. We can trust God will appropriately address another's sinful behaviors--in this part of eternity or when Jesus returns again. We can recover from trauma without needing to get vengeance for the wrongs we have suffered. We can focus energy on our healing process and worship our trustworthy God.
Comments Invited:
I love to hear from my readers. Have you tried to turn the other cheek and regretted it? Have you, too, had trouble understanding what it means to turn the other cheek? Is this post helpful to you?
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