when my innocence was shattered
when my complete trust broke
when my self-doubt began
I know you hate evil.
I know you are powerful;
So why, oh why
Did you not rescue me?
Did you not rescue me?
It's a cry all abused victims try to bury or to challenge God with. Why? Why were we on our own while an abuser robbed us of dignity and safety? That "why" rips at the heart and mind. We may feel rage or fear over that question. We may feel quilt that the question even arises.
God sees us and understands our pain. He cares deeply for us. He cries with us. Just as Jesus cried over Lazurus' death and the pain of his surviving sisters. He did not lash out at the sisters for their feelings of grief or over their awareness that he could have prevented Lazurus' death. They were hurt that he did not come promptly and heal their brother. He even could have raised his friend's body from the dead if he had come more quickly. He had done it before. He had raised the Centurion's daughter from the dead on the day she died. Why hadn't Jesus altered the circumstances to deliver his faithful follower and personal friend from the grip of illness? The sisters wondered about these things. They knew what God was capable of. Jesus cried with them but didn't answer the why question. But he did heal his friend, raising him from the dead.
It can feel like we're all alone, damaged, and barely hanging in there.
Photo by Vlad Chețan: https://www.pexels.com
God gave humans free will. Free will means that the abuser has the freedom to choose to abuse others. It is a very wrong, sinful choice, and there will be consequences for the abuser. God's justice is fierce for the unrepentant sinners of violence. We may not see the punishment of the abuser in our lifetime, but God will not forget, and his righteous judgment will prevail.
But why doesn't God rescue all abuse victims out of the control of abusers? He could. But he doesn't. When my wounded heart cries out with, "Why?" I feel God's comforting presence, not His condemnation.
To ride out the storm of feeling hurt and betrayed, I have found it helpful to review what I do know:
- God loves us.
- God is not surprised by what happens in my life. He sees and understands my pain.
- God knows that he can work ALL things for good in the life of one of His followers.
- God can heal the deepest emotional wounds.
- God hates sin and what pain it can cause others.
- God is tender with the wounded and oppressed.
God's mission isn't to spare humans from pain. God's purpose isn't to deliver or rescue us from every
sinful deed enacted against us. God is focused on giving all non-believers the opportunity to receive His grace, forgiveness, and love. God is focused on building personal relationships with each Believer, growing deep faith and trust in the Believer's heart. The relationship is an eternal one in which
He is ever faithful. And I have discovered over the years that what God does is more than enough. His love is more important than the painful experiences I have lived through. His presence in my life has become my greatest treasure.
Heavenly Father, please help us to give all of our wounds to you for your tender care. What we've experienced is so disturbing and painful that it can obscure our view of your loving availability. Please give us the strength to walk courageously through our healing process. Please comfort us when the pain of past abuse seems unbearable. Help us to trust you to help us. Amen.
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